Back in the ’60s and ’70s, hard-core porn was illegal unless it had "redeeming social, cultural or educational value," according to the Supreme Court. To get around this, gay porn magazines would print really weird pseudo-sociological essays that would be "illustrated" by graphic photos. The best – and most explicit – magazine was "Ecce Homo." (If you ever see an issue on E-Bay, snap it up. Seeing that as a little kid changed my life!)
Muscle Penitentiary is like those old magazines. The sex scenes are fine, but each one is introduced by a bizarre title card that describes the situation of men in prisons. For example, one card talks about regulations involving showers, and it’s immediately followed by a hot and heavy shower scene. It’s all really dumb, and totally unnecessary, but I guess Blue Blake isn’t up on his obscenity law.
Also, if you’re expecting a good and nasty jailbait video, either be prepared to wait a while, or else keep looking. Except for the last scene, this is a very accommodating prison population. With apologies to Mel Brooks, these guys are "Prisoners of Lust." All that being said, like a slowly stiffening cock, Muscle Penitentiary grows on you. Blake’s Big Blue Productions specializes in bodybuilder sex, and while only one or two cast members could make the Mr. Universe cut, most of the chests are plenty ripped. (The one exception is the ever-lean Mr. Hunt. He has only one really big muscle, but it’s the one that counts!)
We open in the warden’s office with prisoner Jim Slade polishing the furniture while guard Jake Gianelli looks on. Gianelli is gargantuan and he tells the smaller Slade “I have something for you to polish.†Slade is a mighty muscleman himself but no match for Mr. Samson, so he quickly drops to his knees and pulls out Gianelli’s moderately-sized cock (and non-existent balls) for a thorough blow job, followed by an equally thorough rim. Slade then lies back on the desk and lifts his legs into the air, giving Gianelli – and us – ample access to his ample ass. Alas, this prison has an unconventional barber service: Slade’s nether regions, as well as those of Gianelli and other cast members, are shaved clean as a whistle. Jake throws a fuck from two positions before the marvelous Slade shoots a huge load that will stain the warden’s desk permanently.
The aforementioned shower scene follows with inmate Jason Hawke waiting for newcomer Ben Campezi to finish; at one point Ben drops the soap in a nice bit of humor. Campezi is a startling beauty, with jet-black hair, sparkling eyes, an open face, sculpted muscles, speed-skater thighs, a fully hooded foreskin and an ass to go criminal for. He’s also reportedly one of those straight boys who loves to get fucked, so when the Hawke starts to stalk, the victim is ready, willing and oh so able – first on his hands and knees, then on his side, then on his back.
The heat ratchets way, way up for the final two scenes, beginning with a three-way where Jim Slade takes it hard from guards Carlo Cox and Chad Hunt. Cox is the strong silent type; he’s muscular and massively hung, and his crotch has fortunately been spared the barber’s blade. With tight curly hair and long sideburns, Hunt looks great, and sounds better. His prison-guard rap is the real thing, calling Slade his "pussy bitch" (the bitch loves every minute of it).
The two men begin by stuffing the inmate’s mouth; you can hear Slade gagging as he tries to take each cock all the way. Next they give his hole a tongue-lashing, spitting into it with all the of a Chi Chi LaRue video. Sufficiently soaked, Slade’s asshole then gets a pounding few mortal men could survive, as each man takes turns smashing into his sphincter. If that weren’t enough, they then go at him together in a double penetration that defies the laws of physics. The space they create in this guy’s rectum could solve America’s prison overcrowding problem.
For the finale, Campezi is in his cell, jerking off to the memories of his shower tryst. Along comes British guard Tony Valentino, and with thick muscles, a dangerous cock and a bald head, this porn newcomer is one mean . He wants some ass, and he doesn’t care whose. We finally get the sort of prison scene we’ve been waiting for, as Valentino works over the hapless Campezi’s ass from every angle, hurling insults as fast as he’s hurling thrusts. The heat could melt the cell bars.
The extras to the Muscle Penitentiary DVD are fairly standard but worthwhile. There are chapter selections, with bookmarks for the anal penetrations and the cum shots. There is plenty of behind-the-scenes footage and outtakes that show how much fun these guys are having. Plus a good photo gallery, previews of other Big Blue titles and Web site access.
Muscle Penitentiary isn’t perfect, but it’s got plenty going for it. Harsh lighting washes out body tones, but the tight-on-the-action camerawork is solid. And with Slade, Cox, Valentino and especially Campezi, this prison has a population. The way these guys get slammed in the slammer, you’ll be begging to do hard time in this "penile" colony.
Format: avi
Duration: 1:43:36
Video: 704×528, DivX 5, 1593kbps
Audio: 187kbps
File size: 1.4 GB
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