Release Year: 2015
Cast: Levi Karter, Levi Michaels, Liam Riley, Tayte Hanson
Genres: Anal Sex, Blowjob, Cumshots, Hairy, Kissing, Masturbation, Muscles, Tattoos.
My "gay" education happened at the base of a long wooden bar, in the Bourbon Pub, the iconic gay bar in New Orleans, perfectly situated on the corner of Bourbon Street and Saint Ann. While sipping a gin and tonic, it was the perfect spot to watch the rows of television screens playing the videos of the day — Liza, RuPaul, Boy George, and Right Said Fred’s "I’m Too Sexy" (YIKES! LOL) — but one night, I saw something that forever changed me.
There was a man who looked like something out of a Baroque space-age movie singing opera. It was Claus Nomi, singing "The Cold Song", from Purcell’s "King Arthur." I had never seen anything like it. I was transfixed, confused, jealous, joyful, and sad all at once. I wanted to dress like him. Sing like him. Command attention like him. At that moment, I wanted to be HIM. Me, a hunting, fishing, conservative white boy, felt the need to transform and become more than what I was at that moment.
After that night, I read and devoured everything I could about Claus — and this is before there was the Internet. I would sit in the Tulane Library and look up magazines and newspapers to read as much as I could about homo punk rockers, David Bowie, Lou Reed, Andy Warhol, and all the goings-on of NYC nightlife, absorbing it all and day dreaming about "what it would be like."
CUT TO: Finally making it to NYC and living in the city I once only dreamed about… and then came the reality check. Living and surviving in New York was not as fabulous and glamorous as I day dreamed. In fact, I was met by the overwhelming sense of collective consciousness, everyone being powered by fear and survival.
And it is that same energy that filled this project. Fear and survival.
Many of you know that this project was born from a breakdown with Jett Black, something that upset me greatly at the time. But now as the hands of time ticked by and have passed, I’ve worked to understand my upset and anger and I now have a greater understanding and gratitude toward what happened. This project has been a blessing to me and many who were a part of making it. And I have come to understand and realize that Jett was doing what we all do every day — trying to survive at a time when fear clouded his mind. Fear and survival — it makes us both weak and strong.
As I was preparing to shoot The Actor, I went back to my original transformation inspiration, Claus Nomi, and watching on YouTube that performance I had seen 20 years before. Tears streamed down my eyes as I reconnected to the same feeling I did so long ago. But in that moment, I could do what I could not then — Google and Wikipedia my inspirational. And then I read this…
"In the last several months of his life, Nomi changed his focus to operatic pieces; to fit, he adopted a Baroque era operatic outfit complete with full collar as his typical on-stage attire in this time frame. The collar helped cover the outbreaks of Kaposi’s sarcoma forming on his neck, one of the numerous AIDS-related diseases Nomi developed toward the end of his life."
Fear and survival.
Like so many artists and creative beings, Nomi, facing , would not allow his failing body to limit him. In fact, he transformed once again, pushing the limits of himself, creating something so inspiring and beautiful. An inspiration once again, at a new time when I’m able to fully understand and pay respect.
Today, I work with an amazing group of people — all from many walks of life and situations. Many of whom I love and work with have at one time faced struggles I can not imagine. I often question how they have survived.
Fear and survival.
And now, as I complete this creative journey, I am forever grateful to the 16 amazing young men who acted in these films, in working together, they all shared with me and allowed me to at times connect to the fear they often face, battle, and use to survive. It is in their journey that I have come to realize that how we face our fears is how we survive. Face your fears in the light of day and you can see what’s ahead. Face your fears in the dark and you will see nothing.
Thank you for allowing my indulgences and I love you all.
Format: mp4
Duration: 43:40
Video: 1280×720, AVC (H.264), 2819kbps
Audio: 125kbps
File size: 944.5 MB
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